Feats vs Love

AMDG

I, a creature with one foot in the world and one in the Heavens, to you, my brothers and sisters in this crazy, worldly, divine life. Hope, faith, joy, and peace to you on this fourth Sunday of Advent! I hope you cannot be tired, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, of the theme of love.

An American Paradigm

We operate here in the USA under a paradigm of earning our way. We believe in hard work and just reward. Not only is there is an idealistic grace to this, but in a darker way it also permeates every other part of our lives. Tying it into my vocation story, for example, I had an unconscious certitude that I could earn my place in a religious order: if they saw what a good man and earnest Catholic I am, surely they could find a place for me. I also find myself trying to earn my relationships, wondering about how much I am giving versus receiving; if I am deserving; what I can do for the other to justify the relationship.

As a white, middle class youth and man, I have for a long time had the privilege of working hard and getting just rewards. I found the end of that privilege this summer. I want to acknowledge those who have never had that privilege to begin with for various reasons, particularly for being a person of color or a woman.

Feats

Ignatius’s life was transformed when he was laid up for months with nothing to read but the lives of the saints. His daydreams about chivalrous deeds were replaced with ones about the saints and about being saintly. He asked himself, What if I did what that saint did?

In the same vein, one can ask, What have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ? What ought I do for Christ? Said prayerfully, lovingly, there is beauty and devotion here. But each piece rests on that word: do.

Here is the message: Jesus is lost on those who try to justify themselves through circumcision and works (Galatians 5). Jesus is not impressed; he calls us to purify our hearts. I have felt restless this fall, as though I am not accomplishing big things. Yet, my purpose is to glorify God. I glorify God not by feats, for I can do nothing to add to God’s glory, but by love. By living out love. By becoming fully alive in the image of Christ, who is God, who is love.

To Love

I had the honor to hear two parents share how they got involved in the Catholic LGBTQ movement when they noticed their LGBTQ children drifting away from the church and the faith. The parents stated it simply, but I was thunderstruck by their witness of love. They are the shepherds going after the lost sheep, unwilling to let these precious ones be lost. Unlike so many Christians who watch their brothers and sisters drift away with an apathetic shrug, these two acted out of great love.

I hope that I can win people over into acceptance of LGBTQ people by appealing to love. I believe that love can overcome fear. I believe that love can overcome distraction by the law. With grace and love, we can learn to “dwell in the mystery,” as I have heard it said, and love our neighbor fully and fruitfully even though we don’t understand how these things can be.

Let us all remember: “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Beloved

I can aspire to things: aspire to make the church more whole, aspire to save souls that would otherwise have been lost to indifference or exclusion, aspire to bring Christ into the secular world… but I must not do these things to earn my place in the church, or in any religious order, or even to convince myself of my own worth. I must do them out of love for my Father, my Lord, and my Love.

There will be no satisfaction in the world, just as there is not satisfaction in hatred. But there is satisfaction in every moment we are in union with our God.

Pray for me as I pray for you.

With Love,
Your Other Brother

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Wickedness and Snares of the Devil

 AMDG I, a man healed by the grace of God and yet found unclean, to you, my beloved brothers and sisters, especially any who I may not know. I write to you about two things. First, to share some of the thoughts emotions I’ve processed over the last two or three months. My purpose is only to share, so that those who do not share my vantage point may know something of what it is like to stand where I stand. Second, I want to call out the presence of the devil among us, and stand defiantly against it. This post may be a little darker than what I usually share… but it is honest. That is all, I suppose, I have to give. On April 8, 2024, the Vatican released a declaration called Dignitas Infinita . You can read it here . It reads like a commemorative address celebrating 50 years since the United Nations published the Universal Declaration of Human Rights , discussing the anthropology and concept of human dignity before going on to touch on 13 contemporary, “specific and grave violati...
Read more

a pause for outreach

 AMDG I, your least brother, to you, my beloved brethren, grace and peace. I hope the Christmas and epiphany seasons continue to bless you with light and warmth. When I was discontinued from my vocation track, one of the first things I did was search Google and Facebook for groups of similar people, anyone who had asked to join and gotten the answer, "no." I knew that a lot of people are rebuffed, and I was convinced that if there could be Facebook groups for all manner of triviality, surely there would be one for people processing this grief. For better or worse, I found none. Instead I have come to awareness of the interpersonal network, like the collective roots of a forest, stretching out from those whom I know to well beyond the horizon of my imagination. There is something beautiful about it, every fiber a lovingly formed connection. Every node resting in its own context. I am going to begin an outreach effort. I would like to support other trans people with religious v...
Read more

Sent

I wrote this for a newsletter. AMDG I, a 30-odd year old Catholic, who aspires to religious brotherhood, who is transgender, to my brothers, sisters, and nonbinary brethren reading this newsletter… I wrote in June about a darkness I sense in the world, a pack of demons to whom I informally refer as the shadow of Mordor: distortion, despair, isolation, fear, defensiveness, and self-righteousness. What I wrote was a personal reflection on my struggle to live and pray through this, to see God above the waves and see light where the devil wants me—us—to find darkness. Today I write an exhortation of defiance. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. I believe that we live in a broken world. A world created by God, beautiful, reflecting God’s beauty, complexity, power, personality. But also a world subject to moral and physical disorder: Brother kills brother. Beast devours man and man slaughters beast. We unseat Love to make room for Pride, Power, and Wealth. I’m sure you can summon to mi...
Read more